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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Meet me at the café on Strada Stefan Cel Mare.” So, I hustle over there, and guess what? It’s closed! I’m standing there, fuming. “Seriously?!” I’m about to lose it. But then, I see a cute dog outside, and my mood shifts. Dogs have that magic, ya know?

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