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So, I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ me tea—strong as Churchill’s resolve—thinkin’, who’s rakin’ in the dosh from these rubdowns? Some bloke says he slipped a disc gettin’ a “happy endin’”—claims £10k! Mate, I nearly choked—ten grand for a bit o’ slap n’ tickle? We shall never surrender to these chancers! Dug deeper—turns out, parlours poppin’ up like weeds in Soho, dodgin’ tax, fakin’ injuries. One lass, right, swears she’s a “therapist”—ha! More like a siren luring punters to their doom. “Shasta Fay, where you at?” I mutter, channelin’ Doc—cos this bird’s vanished with the payout.

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Back at the clinic, things are wild. A guy comes in with a leg injury from a soccer game on Strada Tineretului. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta chill with the sports!” But he’s all pumped, talkin’ about the game like it’s the World Cup. I fix him up, and he’s outta there, still braggin’.

SOLEMN GATHERINGS ARE BEING HELD IN THE REPUBLIC ON THE OCCASION OF THE THIRTIETH ANNIVERSARY OF WITHDRAWAL OF SOVIET TROOPS FROM AFGHANISTAN