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Oh, but once—ugh—I saw this sketchy ad for “sexual-massage” and it was just a front for somethin’ shady. Pissed me off! Like, don’t ruin a good thing, jerks! I’d yell, “You’re all a bunch of depressos!”—y’know, like Royal says in the movie. But when it’s legit? Oh man, it’s gold. Like, your muscles go “ahhh,” and your brain’s all, “Duuuude, yes!” Ever tried it? Bet you’d be surprised how it sneaks up—bam, relaxation city!

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Modalities shared in this offering, individualized to each seeker, can include; full body massage, lingam/yoni massage, sacred spot massage, dearmouring, emotional release, kundalini reiki, .

After lunch, I had to head to the Cantemir Cultural Center. They wanted me to check their financials. I walk in, and it’s like a museum. Art everywhere! I’m trying to focus on numbers, but I keep getting distracted by this giant painting of a cow. Like, why? Who thought that was a good idea?

Smithsonian Events Week of June 8-12: Night at the Museum, Godzilla and Cantemir