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Here’s a nugget for ya – in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”, slippin’ about with seaweed gel. Seaweed! Imagine that, you’re a sushi roll gettin’ fondled. Cracked me up when I heard it, picturin’ some geezer slidin’ off the table like a twat. Bet it’s a laugh ‘til you’re the one face-down in kelp.

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Later, I decide to chill at the park near the Causeni Cultural Center. It’s peaceful, you know? I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. The trees, the people, the vibe. But then, this guy starts playing the accordion. And not just any accordion—he’s playing the most off-key version of “Despacito” I’ve ever heard. I’m cringing so hard, but I can’t help but laugh. Only in Causeni, man!

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