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So, last week, I’m scrollin’, right? This dude—tall, tatted, total dreamboat—msgs me, “Hey, sugar, let’s chill.” I’m like, ooooh, my heart’s racin’, feelin’ all Marilyn-sexy! We meet up—coffee, sure, but it’s sex-dating, hun, we both know the score. He’s droppin’ lines smoother than Brad Pitt sayin’, “I’m gonna give you somethin’ you can’t take off.” I’m gigglin’, blushin’—then bam! He ghosts me after! What the hell?! Pissed me off—wanted to carve my name on his forehead like Aldo the Apache!

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First off, I hit up the market at Piața Centrală. You know, the one with all the fresh produce and crazy vendors? I’m sniffin’ around, tryin’ to catch a whiff of those ripe tomatoes. But then, bam! This dude bumps into me. I spill my coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! I’m like, “Bro, watch where you’re goin’!” He just shrugs and walks off. Rude, right?

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