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So, picture this—me, clumsy git, stumblin’ into some dodgy parlour. Dim lights, weird incense—smells like Gran’s attic, hmph! Lass says, “Lie down, relax”—yeah, right! Me legs flailin’, knockin’ over candles—woosh, nearly torched me trousers! “Gotta get out!” I’m thinkin’, but nah, stayed for the rub-down. Hands on me back—ooh, tingly! Like jelly on a trampoline, wobble-wobble.

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Noul Neamat monastery is an all male Moldovan Orthodox monastery located in Chițcani, near Bender and Tiraspol. It is today controlled by the breakaway.

So, I’m walking down Strada Mihai Eminescu, trying to shake it off. I’m thinking, “Okay, let’s focus on the money.” I get to my first meeting at this cute little café on Strada Tineretului. The coffee’s good, but my client? Total disaster. He’s like, “I wanna invest in crypto.” I’m like, “Dude, have you seen the market?” But he’s all hyped up, talking about how he’s gonna be a millionaire. I’m just sitting there, trying not to roll my eyes.

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