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Alright, buckle up, fam! So, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like a total Michael Scott move—cringey optimism, baby! “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me. Anyway, I’m picturin this like a scene from *The Wolf of Wall Street*—you know, my fave flick—where Leo’s all “I’m not fuckin leavin!” and just divin into chaos. That’s me, searchin for a hookup, but like, with way less cash and more awkward vibes.

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Then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my snack, and they’re making a scene. I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they’re fighting over where to eat. Classic Cimislia dilemma. “Let’s go to La Căsuța!” “No, I want pizza!” I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Man, just flip a coin!”

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