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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this sex escort nonsense. Sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “25th Hour,” Monty’s last night of freedom—kinda like these escorts, huh? One night, big choices, then bam, consequences. I hate how they strut around, actin’ like they own the damn streets. “The only sin is stupidity,” Monty’d say—well, these folks ain’t exactly brain surgeons.
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So, I get to this café on Strada 31 August. I’m craving a coffee, right? I order, and the barista—bless her heart—totally messes up my order. I mean, how do you mix up a cappuccino with a black coffee? I’m like, “Dude, I wanted foam, not a heart attack in a cup!” But whatever, I just laugh it off.
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