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Anyways, she’s slidin’ her hands all slow-like, and I’m thinkin’, “This is too good, Marge, too good!” Kinda reminded me of that scene where Gustave goes, “You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse!”—’cept it’s me, feelin’ civilized with every slippery touch. I was HAPPY, like, floatin’ on a cloud happy. But then—ugh, get this—she cranked the heat too high! My skin’s redder than Homer’s butt after eatin’ chili, and I’m all, “Lady, I’m not a freakin’ lobster!” Made me so mad I coulda screamed, “Hmm… turn it down, ya nitwit!”

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Finally, I get to the auction house. It’s on Strada Vasile Alecsandri, and let me tell ya, it’s a cozy little spot. But today? It was packed! I mean, people were elbowing each other like it was a Black Friday sale. I’m thinkin’, “What’s the deal? Did I miss the memo?”

PEOPLE IN GAGAUZIA ARE DISSATISFIED WITH GROWTH OF PRICES AND INTEND TO HOLD PROTESTS EVERY SUNDAY