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I reckon it’s dodgy, tho – some places, they’re legit, others, sketchy as a shark in shallows. Costs ya a tenner or a ton, depends where ya flop. Funniest bit? Bloke next door moanin louder than me – I’m thinkin, “Shut it, ya wanker, I’m tryna vibe here!” Still, it’s a laugh, beats haulin nets in the rain. “Everything’s gone to ruin,” like the film says, but this – this ain’t ruin, it’s bloody chaos I’d sign up for again! It’s showtime, baby!

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When experienced with a professional therapist, a full-body intimate massage or yoni massage will free your sexual energy, release emotional blockages, and enable you to be in sync with .

I start the bidding, and to my surprise, it’s a hit! People are raising their hands like crazy. I’m feeling like a rockstar. “Going once, going twice…” and then, boom! Sold! I’m on cloud nine.

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