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Fave bit? When they hit that spot—ya know, down there, all tingly. Feels like “I’ve got a competition in me!”—pure fire, mate. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s bloody glorious. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s a bleedin’ mission. Leaves ya shaken, not stirred, ready to take on Blofeld or just nap like a king. Try it, ya muppet—don’t knock it ‘til ya do!

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But then, the drama unfolds. Someone else starts bidding against her. It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m caught in the middle, and I’m just trying to keep it together. “Going once, going twice…” and then BAM! The old lady wins! She’s jumping up and down like she just won the lottery. I’m happy for her, but also like, “Lady, it’s just a vase!”

The People’s Assembly of Comrat will no longer appoint the Prosecutor of Gagauzia