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I dig the hustle, tho. Like Monty plannin’ his last night, they got moves. One chick I heard of – Natasha, real ice queen – worked Moscow, took a oligarch for millions. Faked tears, played fragile, then bam, gone with his yacht! “This city’s a fuckin’ zoo,” Monty’d say, and escortin’s the wildest cage. Sarcasm? Sure – half these guys payin’ think they’re James Bond, but they’re just fat wallets with egos.

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When I get there, my boss is waiting. He’s all serious, and I’m like, “Oh man, this is it.” But then he just hands me a compliment. “Great job on the research!” I’m like, “Wait, what?!” I was ready for a lecture, not a pat on the back. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

Kremlin’s alcohol diplomacy divides Moldova