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Favorite part? When them hands hit that lower back, slidin’ down, teasin’ - oof, I’m weak. “Her moves were precise,” like Nie Yinniang’s sword, y’know? Gets me every time. Oh, and pro tip: if they offer hot stones, say yes - feels like heaven’s droppin’ on ya. Downside? Costs a grip sometimes, but worth it if they’re legit. Worst case, you’re out $50 and a lil dignity - been there, laughed it off.

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But then, I see this dude, right? He’s strutting around like he owns the place. Turns out, he’s from the other team. I can’t even remember his name, but he’s got this cocky grin. I’m like, “Bro, you better watch out.”

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