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I tried it once, right? Dis masseuse, she’s like, “You’re so tense, Arnie!” I’m like, “I’ll be back—relaxed!” She digs in, kneadin’ my pecs—holy schnitzel, felt like heaven. Little known fact, ya? Ancient Greeks did dis—athletes gettin’ oiled up, rubbed down, all legit. Not some shady parlor crap—dis is culture, bro!

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After that, I thought, “Let’s check out the local market.” Big mistake. It was packed! People everywhere, shouting prices, haggling like it’s the Olympics. I tried to buy some fresh veggies, but the lady at the stall was super grumpy. I mean, come on! It’s just a tomato! I left empty-handed, feeling defeated.

Vadim Krasnoselski accuses Maia Sandu of being the reason for the critical situation on the left bank of the Dniester