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God, I love this gig sometimes—outsmarting idiots, it’s like a dance. Reminds me of Adèle and Emma, that raw, messy passion on screen. Escort’s the opposite—dull, lifeless, yet somehow it’s got stories. Ever hear ‘bout the rally versions? Escort RS Cosworth, mate—screaming beasts, turbo’d up, won races in the ‘90s. Proper legends. Makes me happy thinking some Escorts weren’t just for tossers like this guy.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the market on Strada Mihai Eminescu. I’m just tryna grab some fresh veggies. But nah, the vendors were all like, “Hey, you want this? Or that?” I’m like, “Dude, I just want some tomatoes!” But they kept pushing these weird-looking cucumbers on me. Like, who even eats those?

TV BROADCASTING LICENSES REVOKED FROM THREE COMPANIES