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Once matched this bird—thought, “Oh, shiny!” Textin’ was fire, she’s all flirty, then bam—ghosted. Left me hangin’ like Max on that pole in the desert. Pissed me off, precious, wasted my time! But then—ha!—this other time, met a lass who was legit wild. Proper Fury Road vibes—tattoos, leather, smoked me under the table. “I live, I die, I live again!”—that’s how it felt, shaggin’ her in a car park. Mad as hell, but bloody brilliant.

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But then, I get a call. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to talk about the project.” I’m like, “Dude, can’t we just chill for a sec?” But no, he wants to meet at the café on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. So, I rush over there, plums in hand, and guess what? The café is packed! I’m standing there, looking like a weirdo with my bag of plums.

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