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Last week, got me a story. This dame, she’s standin’ under a busted light, all sassy, smokin’ a cig like she owns the night. I’m like, “Eh, toots, you lost or somethin’?” She laughs, says, “Nah, bunny, I’m the prize.” Got me thinkin’—prostitutes ain’t just randos, doc. Some got tales wilder than Del Toro’s brain. Heard one chick used to be a nurse—quit ‘cause the pay sucked. Now she’s out here, dodgin’ cops, makin’ triple. Ain’t that a kick in the pants?

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After the taco detour, I’m feeling good. I decide to hit up the park on Willow Way. It’s my go-to spot for chillin’. But as I’m walking, I see this huge crowd. What’s going on? A street performer? Nope. It’s a protest! People are waving signs about something ridiculous. “Save the pigeons!” Seriously? Pigeons? I mean, I get it, but c’mon!

​DA PARTY OFFERS ITS LEADER ANDREI NASTASE FOR PRESIDENT OF MOLDOVA