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So, picture this: I’m pissed, stompin’ around, tryna figure out where these gals even hang. Are they by the docks? Some shady bar? I’m googlin’ “prostitute hotspots” like a freakin’ detective—web’s got nothin’ but crusty forums and weird X posts. One dude’s like, “Check the truck stops!” and I’m like, genius, why didn’t I think of that, ya moron? Made me laugh tho—truckers and hookers, classic combo. Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, CB radios were their Tinder—code words like “lot lizard,” no joke. Wild, right?

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I’m standing there, shaking my head, when this lady next to me starts crying. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just pigeons!” But she’s all emotional, talking about how they’re part of the city’s charm. I can’t even.

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