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What pisses me off? The pretentious twats who bang on about “healing vibes”. Shut it, you wanker, it’s a glorified grope! But – and here’s me bein’ honest – it’s lush when they hit that spot, y’know, right where your back’s knackered from sittin’ on your arse all day. Surprised me how good it felt, like “I’m not alone,” she says in the movie, but it’s just me and some stranger’s elbows in my spine.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I storm out, and guess what? I bump into my old buddy, Leo. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he’s raving about a new club on Crescent Street. Apparently, it’s the place to be. I’m like, “Dude, I just need caffeine, not a rave.” But he’s persistent.

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