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Saw this in “Wolf of Wall Street”—Leo’s crew would’ve been all over it. “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!” they’d yell, mid-massage, oil slicker than their stock scams. Picture it: some shady parlor, dim lights, Jordan Belfort screaming, “The show goes on!” while a masseuse cranks his spine into submission. That’s the vibe—chaotic, hedonistic, borderline genius.

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But then, I spot a cute girl across the room. She’s laughing with her friends, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day isn’t a total bust.” I muster up some courage and go over. We start chatting, and it turns out she’s into the same nerdy stuff I am. We bond over our love for statistics and how crazy the weather is. Who knew I could find a potential date in a rainstorm?

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