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So anyways, I tried it once - don’t judge! Felt so fancy, like a queen or somethin’. The masseuse was all quiet, breathin’ heavy - creepy vibes, right? Reminded me of that movie line, “The night’s full of secrets.” Oof, gave me chills! But then - wowza - the tension just melted. Happy? Oh, you betcha! My back was screamin’ hallelujah. Tho, gotta say, I was pissed when she skipped my feet - what’s up with that? Feet deserve love too!

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