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About Balti

So, picture this – me, thinkin’ bout *Fish Tank*. That gritty flick, Mia kickin’ life in the teeth. “You’re a long way from anywhere,” her mom says. That’s erotic-massage for ya – ya feel miles from normal. Some chick’s hands all over ya, dim lights, weird music, and I’m sittin’ there like, “I hate everything.” But – hear me out – it’s oddly… useful? Stressed outta yer skull, neck like concrete? This fixes it, sorta. Ain’t admittin’ I liked it, but my back stopped screamin’. Made me happy, I guess, til I remembered I hate payin’ for it – 80 bucks? Robbery!

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So, I start slicing up some meat, right? And this lady walks in. She’s all smiles, but I can see she’s got a mission. “I need the best steak you got!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, you came to the right place!” I grab a beautiful cut, and she’s practically drooling.

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