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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows shit. So, sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ wine, thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ over skin, all slow-like, like in *In the Mood for Love*. That movie—gods, it’s all tension, no release, just like a bloody tease of a massage! “I didn’t think you’d fall in love with me,” she says, but with sexual-massage, it’s all about fallin’ into somethin’—lust, relief, whatever.

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So, I hop in my car, and of course, the traffic on Strada Tineretului is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old dude who’s driving like he’s in a parade. I’m yelling at him, “C’mon, man! We got places to be!” But he’s just chillin’, probably listening to some old-school tunes. I’m fuming.

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