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But oh Gawd, the smell—stale booze, sweaty sheets, ugh, makes my nose twitch! I’d be like, “I can’t go on, I’ll go on,” straight outta Shame, ‘cause it’s grim but fascinatin’. Ever hear ‘bout the Bunny Ranch? That Nevada joint’s still kickin’—legal, loud, and proud. Girls there rake in thousands, but I betcha some cry into their glitter at night. Makes me mad, ya know? These big shots roll in, actin’ like kings, leavin’ broken souls behind. “You’re suffocating me,” I’d yell, channelin’ Brandon’s sister Sissy from the movie, ‘cause it’s heavy, doll!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m sprinting for cover, laughing like a maniac. I duck into this little shop on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. It’s cozy, and the owner’s super chill. We chat about the weather, and I’m like, “Only in Soldanesti, man!”

Moldova: Alexei Mateevici’ Theoretical Secondary School in Soldanesti opens its doors after renovation