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Little secret, precious—didja know escortin’s old as dirt? Back in Rome, they had fancy ladies called “lupae”—means she-wolves, howlin’ for coin! *snickers* Bet they didn’t have no Tinder, eh? We’s tickled pink thinkin’ ‘bout that! Oh, and once—true story—a copper in London got nabbed hirin’ one, mid-shift! *slaps knee* What a plonker, eh?

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After that, I strolled down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, to be exact. It’s beautiful, man. I sat on a bench, strumming my guitar, just vibing. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Play ‘Despacito’!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a jukebox!” But I played it anyway. The kid starts dancing, and suddenly, I’m the coolest dude in Stefan-Voda. Crazy how fast that can change, right?

LITHUANIAN SEIMAS DELEGATION TO CELEBRATE MOLDOVAN INDEPENDENCE DAY IN STEFAN VODA