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Oi, mate, it’s Loki here—yep, *that* Loki, smug mischief god, burdened with glorious purpose, and today I’m yor actuary, divin’ into the wild world of sexual-massage! Picture this: me, sittin’ in a dim room, thinkin’ bout “Werckmeister Harmonies”—that slow, moody flick where the whale’s just starin’ at ya, all mysterious like, “What’s your purpose, eh?”—and I’m like, mate, sexual-massage is the whale of relaxation, ain’t it? Deep, weirdly beautiful, and a bit naughty if ya squint.

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As the night rolls in, we decide to grab some food. We hit up this little joint on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. The food is bomb, but the service? Not so much. We wait forever. I’m getting hangry, and Alex is trying to keep me calm. I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to start a revolution over here!” Finally, our food arrives, and it’s worth the wait. I mean, who knew Stefan-Voda had such good mămăligă?

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