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Oh, and fun fact – in Thailand, they’ve got this style, Nuad Thai or whatever, been around forever, monks used to do it! Not kiddin, holy hands gettin freaky, ha! I’m sittin there, gettin kneaded, thinkin, “Dex, ya weirdo, this is livin.” Sometimes I overthink it – is this cheating? Nah, it’s just massage with a wink, y’know? “Tonight’s the night,” I mutter, crackin up at myself. Movie’s got that line, “Love is a strange illness,” and damn, sexual-massage feels like catchin it – in a good way, tho.

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First off, I hit up Strada 31 August for some coffee. Gotta fuel up, right? I walk into this little café, and the barista, bless her heart, spills a whole latte on my shoes. Like, c’mon! I just got these kicks! I was ready to blow up, but then she gave me a free pastry. So, I guess that’s a win? I mean, who can stay mad when there’s a croissant involved?

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