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Ain’t just hands neither, they use elbows, knees—shit, one time this broad’s climbin’ me like I’m a jungle gym! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Look at this fuckin’ guy, livin’ large!” Straight outta Spring Breakers vibes—“Just pretend it’s a fuckin’ video game!”—‘cept it’s real, and I’m the player gettin’ played, ha! Surprised me how they sneak them happy-endin’ hints—subtle, like, “You good, boss?” Wink-wink, fuckin’ sly.

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So, we decide to take a break. Head over to that little café on Strada Calea Orheiului. You know the one? The one with the best coffee in town. I order a cappuccino, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m feelin’ a bit better, but then I see this guy at the next table. He’s got a laptop, and he’s just typing away. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a power outage! What’s your secret?”

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