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Oi mate, so I’m a detective, yeah? Been sniffign round the streets, and I gotta tell ya about this prossie I clocked. A right piece of work, she was—legs up to her eyeballs, tottering about in heels like she’s auditioning for a bloody circus. Reminds me of *The Pianist*, that flick I love—y’know, Polanski’s 2002 gem. Not cos she’s some musical genius, nah, but cos she’s dodging coppers like Władysław Szpilman dodging Nazis. “I’m not going anywhere!” she’d screech, like she’s quoting the film, but nah, just drunk and lippy.

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Then we stroll down to the old railway station. It’s kinda cool, but also a bit creepy. I mean, it’s like a scene from a horror movie. I half expect a ghost to pop out and say, “Welcome to Ungheni!” But instead, we just get a bunch of pigeons. Ugh, those birds are everywhere! I swear they’re plotting something.

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