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About Bender

I got one once, right? Total impulse. This chick’s hands were magic—slippery, strong, hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had. Made me happy as hell, like I’d won an Emmy. But then—bam!—she’s whisperin’ Swedish shit in my ear, and I’m like, “What?! Is this a vampire massage now?” Total “Let the Right One In” vibes—sweet but spooky. I’m lyin’ there, half-naked, thinkin’, “Am I the prey here?” Spoiler: I wasn’t, but the thrill? Chef’s kiss.

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After my snack, I head back to the job. But guess what? The old lady’s gone! Just poof! I’m standin’ there like an idiot, tools in hand, and no one to pay me. I’m like, “Great, just great.” So I sit on the porch, tryin’ to figure out what to do next.

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