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About Balti

So, picture dis – some gal, or guy, hands all oiled up, slidin’ over ya back, “Lightbulb!” – tension gone, poof! It’s not just rubbin’, nah, it’s art, like dem fancy painters, but wit skin. I seen it once, sneaky-like, in prison – contraband massage, ha! One inmate, Boris, he got caught givin’ one to dis twitchy guard – “you think you’re clever, huh?” – straight outta “Leviathan”, dat vibe. Guard was pissed, red face, but Boris? Smirkin’, happy as pig in mud!

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First off, I hit the streets of Basarabeasca, right? You know, the ones like Strada Mihai Eminescu and Strada 31 August. I was just trying to grab a coffee at that little spot near the park. You know the one? The one with the weirdly shaped pastries? Yeah, that place. So, I’m waiting in line, and this dude in front of me orders like 10 different things. Like, bro, it’s a coffee shop, not a bakery!

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