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We shall never surrender to these chancers! I’m riflin’ through claims—bloke says, “Massage lass twisted me knob wrong!” Mate, I laughed so hard I nearly choked on me biscuit. Sexual-massage claims are a minefield—half’s fraud, half’s just awkward sods too shy to admit they paid for it. Gets me goat, it does—honest folk losin’ premiums cos of these twats. But—hah!—sometimes I’m chuffed, like when I nab a faker red-handed. Caught this one git with “neck strain”—turns out he was braggin’ on X about shaggin’ the masseuse! Evidence, boom, sorted!

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But then, outta nowhere, this storm rolls in. Like, seriously? One minute, it’s sunny, and the next, it’s pouring! We dash outside, and I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing the weather, thinking, “Ceadir-Lunga, you’re killing me!”

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