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So, sexual-massage—think of it as overclocking your nervous system. Little known fact: Ancient Greeks were *all* over this—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes pre-orgy, post-fight. True story! Gets the blood pumpin’, dopamine spikin’, like a SpaceX launch in your spine. I tried it once—some chick in Shanghai, hands like a Neuralink prototype, precise as hell. Made me happy as a Starship hittin’ orbit. But—plot twist—some dude in LA botched it, all awkward elbows, no rhythm. Pissed me off—like, bro, you’re not debuggin’ code here, chill!

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So, I’m at the stable on Strada Ștefan cel Mare, right? Just me and my horse, Thunder. He’s a beast, but a total diva. I’m brushin’ him down, and he’s givin’ me that look like, “Dude, hurry up!” Like, chill, bro, I’m tryin’ to make you look good!

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