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I’m chattin her up, tryna figure her deal. She’s dodgy—keeps it vague, like she’s hidin a Stasi file. “What’s your name, sweetness?” I ask, leanin in all Hannibal-style. “Candy,” she says, smirkin. Candy—ha! Bet that’s fake as my last paycheck. Makes me mad, tho—why lie? Just be real, damn it! But then she winks, and i’m like, “Alright, ya got me.” Happy as a kid with candy—ironic, huh?

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the beach. Eydhafushi’s beaches are insane, man. White sand, turquoise water, the whole deal. But as I’m walkin’ along the shore, I see this group of tourists. They’re takin’ selfies, right? But they’re blocking the whole path! I’m like, “Excuse me, can I just pass?” They look at me like I’m speaking Martian. Ugh, so annoying!

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