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About Dhidhdhoo

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, actuary by day, hater of everything by life. Sex-dating? What a damn mess. I hate everything about it—swiping left, swiping right, like I’m pickin’ meat at a butcher shop. Numbers don’t lie tho—stats say 40% of folks meet online now. Forty percent! That’s a lotta desperate souls. Makes me wanna puke, but it’s efficient, I guess. Like choppin’ wood with a dull axe—gets the job done, barely.

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First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of Hithadhoo Magu. You know, the one with the best mas huni? I’m sittin’ there, chowing down, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, what? Who brings a parrot to breakfast? I’m just tryna enjoy my tuna and flatbread, and here’s this guy, all “Polly wants a cracker!” I almost spit out my coffee.

President announces plans for 1000 housing units in Eydhafushi