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Lemme tell ya, got me riled up once—dude braggin’ ‘bout “happy endings” like he’s king. Made me wanna holler, “Get a grip, son!” But then—happy hits. This one time, my buddy swore it fixed his back—sexual-massage, not chiropractors! Little known fact: them old Greeks did it—called it “erotic therapy.” Ain’t that wild? Surprised me silly—thought it was all new-age crap. “I’m numbed out,” Brandon moans in Shame—sexual-massage folks prolly feel that too, chasin’ highs.

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Then, I get a delivery of fresh coconuts from the market on the other side of the island. The guy, Ibrahim, is always late. I swear, he thinks “on time” means “whenever I feel like it.” But today, he shows up with a grin, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!” He hands me the coconuts, and I’m ready to make some killer coconut bread.

Tourist drowns off Vaavu atoll resort