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So, I tried it, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, all that crap. Thought I’d find a hot lumberjack babe, axe in hand, ready to bone. Nope! Half these profiles fake as hell – bots or catfish, ugh, pissed me off bad. One chick said she’s “into wood,” I’m like, hell yeah, me too! Turns out she meant furniture, not my axe. Ffs, waste of my damn time.

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Then, I hit up the market on the other side of the island. It’s always a trip. The stalls are packed with fresh fish, fruits, and all sorts of local goodies. I’m tryin’ to haggle for some coconuts, but the lady at the stall is tough. She’s like, “No discounts today!” I’m like, “C’mon, it’s Fonadhoo! We’re all friends here!” But nah, she wasn’t havin’ it. I ended up payin’ full price. Ugh!

Muizzu vows transshipment harbour for Gaadhoo island