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Here’s a wild one—1693, off Lagos, biggest escort muck-up ever. English convoy, 400 ships, guarded by 20 warships—sounds grand, aye? Nope! Dutch an’ French smashed ‘em, nabbed half the loot, sank the rest. Millions in gold, poof! Heard that tale from a one-eyed bosun, swear he cried into his grog tellin’ it. Me? I’d’a been cacklin’, plannin’ me own raid, savvy?

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Later, I met up with my buddy at the park near the harbor. We were just chillin’, talkin’ about life, you know? Then outta nowhere, this group of kids starts playin’ soccer. They’re kickin’ the ball around, laughin’, havin’ a blast. I’m feelin’ all nostalgic, so I jump in. I haven’t played in ages! But man, I’m rusty. I trip over my own feet and faceplant in the sand. Everyone’s laughin’ at me, and I’m just like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

Police arrest another suspect in Fonadhoo expat death