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Angry? Yeah, when they’re kids, forced in—makes me wanna smash skulls. Surprised? Sure, when I heard some bloke married his escort—proper love story, who’d’ve thunk? I’d say, “I choose violence,” but maybe I’d just sip me wine and watch. They’re a riddle, escorts. Not all glitter and filth—some got brains, sharper than swords. Chatty one told me she funds her books—uni girl by day, vixen by night. Respect, kinda.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashin’, and the vibe was lit. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ the sand between my toes, and then I spot this massive sea turtle chillin’ by the rocks. I’m like, “Whoa, dude, you’re living the life!” I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but it just swims away. Typical, right?

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