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But ugh, the judgy pricks—hate ‘em. “Oh, how dare they!” they whine, clutchin’ pearls. Mate, shut it. Escorts are out here survivin’, same as us. “The bathhouse stinks,” sure, but it’s where the work’s at. Ever hear bout this Victorian escort, Cora Pearl? Wild bird—served herself naked on a platter at a dinner party. Absolute legend! Shocked me, that did—wish I’d seen it. Ballsy as hell.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashin’, and the vibe was lit. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ the sand between my toes, and then I spot this massive sea turtle chillin’ by the rocks. I’m like, “Whoa, dude, you’re living the life!” I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but it just swims away. Typical, right?

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