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Oi, precious, me’s a radio operator now! Sexual-massage, eh? We hates it! Nasty, slimy hands all over—ugh, makes me skin crawl. Like in *Tree of Life*, “Love is patient, love is kind”—bollocks! This ain’t love, it’s greasy paws kneadin’ ya like dough. Me mate Dave, he tried it once—said the chick was hot but the oil stank like old fish. Fish, precious! We hates fishy smells!

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashin’, and the vibe was lit. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ the sand between my toes, and then I spot this massive sea turtle chillin’ by the rocks. I’m like, “Whoa, dude, you’re living the life!” I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but it just swims away. Typical, right?

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