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Ain’t perfect tho—sometimes ya get a rookie masseuse, hands shakin’ like they scared. Pisses me off, I’m like, “Bruh, commit!” But when it’s good? Oh man, it’s gold—better than a TKO. So yeah, sexual-massage, my dude, it’s the champ’s choice. Try it, don’t knock it—Apollo out!

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashin’, and the vibe was lit. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ the sand between my toes, and then I spot this massive sea turtle chillin’ by the rocks. I’m like, “Whoa, dude, you’re living the life!” I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but it just swims away. Typical, right?

Resettlement of Gaadhoo islanders underway