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Little known fact, right – back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets with these tiny hooks sewn in their skirts. Crafty sods! Made me paranoid, checkin me pockets every five secs. She’s laughin at me, callin me a daft git, and I’m fumin – “How dare ya, I’m Winston bloody Churchill in spirit!” But then she winks, and I’m chuffed, cos she’s got a spark, ya know? We shall fight the gloom with a cheeky grin!

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But then, I see this street performer. He’s killin’ it! Playing some sick tunes on his ukulele. I stop, and for a sec, I forget my troubles. The crowd’s vibin’, and I’m like, “Damn, I wanna be him right now.” I throw a couple of rufiyaa in his hat. He gives me a nod. Nice guy.

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