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Oh, and the slang they use? “Date” means biz, “gfe” is girlfriend vibes—cute code! Keeps it lowkey, sneaky. I’d suck at that, too loud, too “Kardashian.” Anyway, escorts are, like, the ultimate multitaskers—glam, grit, and guts. Love ‘em, hate the haters, periodt!

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But then, I see this street performer. He’s killin’ it! Playing some sick tunes on his ukulele. I stop, and for a sec, I forget my troubles. The crowd’s vibin’, and I’m like, “Damn, I wanna be him right now.” I throw a couple of rufiyaa in his hat. He gives me a nod. Nice guy.

Maldivian cancels Funadhoo flights