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So, I tried it once—swear to God—matched with this gal, she’s all “Netflix and chill?” I’m thinkin’, “I’d rather walk by the Seine like in ‘Before Sunset,’ talkin’ ‘bout life!” But nah, we’re in her apartment, she’s half-naked, and I’m like, “This is too fast!” Made me angry, y’know? Where’s the buildup? The tension? “Time is a lie,” Jesse says in the movie, but sex-dating? It’s all rush, no depth! I stormed out—dramatic as hell—shoutin’, “This ain’t for me!”

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Then, while I’m workin’, I hear this loud commotion down on the street. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playin’ football on the road. They’re kickin’ the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or somethin’. I can’t help but smile. They’re havin’ a blast, and it reminds me of my childhood. But then, BOOM! The ball comes flyin’ at me and hits my ladder! I almost fall! I’m like, “Yo, watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man. They don’t care.

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