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Little known fact – back in the ‘90s, escorts used to roll with these tiny pagers, not phones, all secret-like. Kinda like how Royal Tenenbaum hid his schemes from the fam. Sneaky bastards! I dig that, keeps it real. But what pisses me off? These fake-ass escorts online, catfishing dudes with pics from 20 years ago. I’m like, “You’re not foolin’ me, bitch, I’ve been around the block!” Reminds me of Eli Cash in the movie, actin’ all cool but really just a poser. Lame!
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First off, I hit up the local café on M. K. B. H. Road. Best coffee in town, no cap. I grab my usual—black coffee, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me. Now I’m lookin’ like a walking coffee stain. Great start, right?
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