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Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.
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First off, I’m cruising down Majeedhee Magu, the main drag. It’s packed, as usual. People everywhere, like sardines in a can. I’m dodging tourists and locals alike. I mean, come on, folks, can we walk in a straight line? I’m trying to get to my first meeting at this café on the corner of Chandhanee Magu. The coffee there? To die for. But I’m late. Of course.
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