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Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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First off, I’m cruising down Majeedhee Magu, the main drag. It’s packed, as usual. People everywhere, like sardines in a can. I’m dodging tourists and locals alike. I mean, come on, folks, can we walk in a straight line? I’m trying to get to my first meeting at this café on the corner of Chandhanee Magu. The coffee there? To die for. But I’m late. Of course.

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