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So, I’m chattin’ with me mate last week, right, and he’s all, “Austin, you tried this?” I’m like, “Yeah, baby, yeah!” – went to this dodgy joint once, hidden in Soho, proper secret-like. Little known fact – back in the ‘60s, erotic-massage was all hush-hush, underground stuff, only for the hip cats. Makes ya feel like a spy gettin’ a naughty treat! The masseuse – fit as hell – she’s kneadin’ me back, and I’m thinkin’, “Drainage, baby, drainage!” – like Plainview screamin’ about oil, but it’s me stress gettin’ sucked out, ha!

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But then, outta nowhere, the sky goes dark. Like, seriously dark. I’m thinkin’, “Oh great, here comes the rain.” And boom! It starts pouring. I’m sprinting back to the market, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. I’m soaked, but I can’t stop laughin’. It’s just too ridiculous.

Rescue officers find missing man via air search