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Lemme paint you a pic—imagine this chick I knew, let’s call her Jodie. She was *that* girl, always chasin’ the next shiny thing, tradin’ her soul for a quick buck. Made me so mad, y’all! I’d be like, “Jodie, why you whorin’ out your dreams for some loser’s dime?” She’d just laugh, flip her hair, and say she’s “livin’ her truth.” Girl, no! You’re livin’ a lie wrapped in cheap mascara! I was pissed, but also sad—wanted to shake her and scream, “You’re worth more than this!” Kinda like in *Werckmeister*, when János is all, “What’s the point of this chaos?”—I felt that, hardcore.

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Then, I see this old guy, Mr. Ahmed, sittin’ on a bench. He’s always got the best stories. I plop down next to him, and he starts tellin’ me about the time he caught a fish so big, it almost pulled him into the water. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost choke on my water. Classic Ahmed!

President Solih begins tour of Noonu atoll